Highway to Happy

It was a moment that would definitely turn into a sweet memory. A memory we could hold unto when all we could do was reminisce. A memory that would console a longing heart when time and distance would not permit its happiness.

A perfect moment. A memory. For quite a long while, we had been clinging unto the certainty that one day, moments like this would be our everyday journey. And that thought, that TRUTH, had always been enough to keep the spark alive, and the love burning.

“I knew I was never going to be the pretty girl, so I just worked my way up to being the smart girl”. - Anna, how do I look?

My heart broke when I heard a girl, in t- shirt and sweat pants, said that. It must have smashed her heart when she uttered those words. The worse part was, she had the hammer in her hands.

I felt bad for her. I would have wanted to tell her she was pretty. That with a brand new style and a hair cut, she would be fine. I wanted to console her if it was possible. Surprisingly, I ended up whispering to myself: “she’s still lucky”.

She’s still lucky.
That even though she wasn’t known to be the campus heartthrob, she was recognized to be brilliant.

She’s still lucky.
That she was forgiven for wearing lame sweat pants and huge shirts because she was smart, anyway.

She’s still lucky.
That she was actually known for something; known for a label that could only go across her name.

She’s still lucky.
Because she wasn’t enrolled in any course in La Salle.

For 7 terms, I have managed to stay in the Accountancy program and maintain a spot in the Dean’s List. But those weren’t really what I was most proud of.

Three years of going in and out of DLSU’s gates, of walking around the campus, of speaking up when I want to, of actually looking at the eyes of the students I came across with, I am proud I’m still breathing.

Seriously, staying alive amidst people who can actually make you feel you’re worth nothing, without having the intention to and without having done anything to make you feel so, is difficult.

You may be pretty, but there are girls who are prettier than you are, and whose beauty is not subject to taste, but is absolute.

You may be smart, but there are others whose minds are more brilliant than yours.

You may be rich, but you don’t have that limitless credit card your seatmate got for her birthday.

Insecurity can cause someone’s death, in La Salle.

If you do not know your worth and you don’t know how to accept that you can never be on top of everything, you’ll lose yourself.

If labels mean so much to you, just like in high school, you’ll end up trying so hard.

Anna turned out to be stunning after the make- over. Her new bob, the slight touch of make- up on her face, her new clothes- she looked as if she was an entirely different person from the one who started the show.

She can be both the smart and pretty girl, now.

But if she still hasn’t changed her heart, if she still think so much of limiting herself and sticking to what people perceive her to be, she still can’t survive La Salle- and so the rest of the real world.



It’s not the façade.
Mango and Zara can do the trick sometimes; but not for long.

The La Sallian’s anniversary ish came out last, last week and I saw my copy just when I was removing the clutter on top of my table. I was flipping the pages before I finally drop it into my trash bin when something caught my attention and glued my eyes to it: a picture of my former law professor, Atty. Uribe, was plastered on the page, and the word ‘terror’, in bold and black letters, appeared on top of his head.

That sight brought me back to that one term I had under his merciless hands; that term I never expected I would end up bragging about.

Atty. Uribe lived up to his title of being a “terror professor”. The on-time roll calls, grilling recitations, mind boggling exams- these were the norms in his class. Students weren’t expected to memorize laws. We have to know them by heart, which is harder 99% of the time.

He expected every student to read about the lesson in advance and those who failed to do so would be doomed when, unfortunately, they were called- in for recitations. And by recitation, I meant 3 students would be called at a time and they would be on deck depending on how long they could survive. Three straight incorrect answers and the student would have to sit his ass down in shame. He gave as high as 95, and as low as 65.

He never recognized the unlimited cuts Dean’s Listers were privileged of. Everyone has to attend his classes, read cases, recite confidently and pass the exams to get a 1.0 (70) in the course card. Too bad for me, 1.0 wasn’t enough. As a BSA student, 2.0 (83) was the lowest I could get to pass the course.

In spite all of those nerve- wracking things I said about Atty. Uribe, I still recommend him to my friends who seek my advice on which professor to enroll in. Atty. Uribe’s class wasn’t an easy ride; but it was definitely worthwhile.

Those grilling recitations motivated me to read and read and read. He suggested a 300- page book as a reference but I opted to use the 800- page one published by a law school. Still, I didn’t manage to answer correctly all the time. He said “That’s incorrect” right into my face so many times and so straight forwardly that it could make my knees wobble, but it never crushed my confidence. Rather, it built my character. Every incorrect answer pushed me to read ten more pages than usual at night.

Those mind boggling exams we have to prepare for 3 nights just to pass, they developed my study habits. They set my priorities straight and never allowed me to slack off. Watching Atty. Uribe write my name as one of the top notchers definitely sponged all the stress away.

The efforts I exerted in this course were enough, if not more than, to get a 4.0 had I enrolled in another professor. I only got 3.0 (91-94). No, let me rephrase that. Atty. Uribe gave me a 3.0- definitely something I could be proud of.

Songs-that-hit-the-charts-then-fade was how I used to look at College friendships. Besides, everyone was already pre- occupied by long- time founded relationships that no one would be willing to neither share himself nor take a bite from what few others offer.

But that was before I met a set of amazingly beautiful people. Ü

Friendships, in all contexts, are only subject to the limitations we set. How deep a relationship can develop depends on how wide you are willing to open the gates and nothing else.

I already have five friends I practically grew up with. They are irreplaceable; they know that. There are also few and very selected people from HS I sincerely treasure and care for. I opened up and shared myself with these people and I don’t see the point why I should be selfish and end the list there.

College is a bliss; but I made time to open my heart and share myself with special people I crossed path with. I didn’t set limitations and standards. I learned to unmask myself in front of uncertainties. I let go of doubts and fears, and I wasn’t disappointed.

Make new friends,
While keeping the old.
Those are silver,
But will soon turn gold.

Whatever doubts and insecurities the past slapped me with, I am lucky to have met people who healed the wounds and embraced me.

They are my friends. And yes, I met them in College.

Once upon a time- I have never grown tired of reading this line and watching movies which start their story with it. Cinderella has always been a favorite and I think there will never come a time I’ll get sick of that maid-turned-princess story of hers. Fairy tales have been part of my childhood and the ideas they bring stayed with me more than they probably should.

So why do writers have to make up all those glittering glass shoes, little fairies flying, seven friendly dwarves, etc., etc., just to translate the power of that emotion which sounds so scary yet attractive; that shattering experience we untiringly search for; that thing called LOVE?

I know this thought once haunted your brain. And knowing mine so well, it will not allow me to sleep unless I dwell on it and formulate my own answer.

So, why? Why superficial things? Why perfection? Why those things which seem unreachable?

Tic.. tic… tic…

C’mon… just give a decent answer or a lame excuse… I just want to be in my bed right now.. every part of me, except this pesky brain, wants to rest…

Then, my phone rang. It was HIM. He called to say good night. And he gave me the answer.


He said I Love You and I find myself answering I Love You More, as if it was the most natural thing next to breathing. That simple exchange of lines revealed the answer I am in search for:

Neverland is a world presented by a well- known fairy tale. I know it isn’t real, yet I found it.

I found Neverland.

And finding it, is finding love..

Last night was a BLAST! I had dinner with friends at Eastwood. We snapped a hundred pictures and chatted all night to cut the long list of utang stories we keep.

(Read the previous paragraph again. This time, in a dreamy tone)


*sigh*


That night could have been possible, if I only accepted Jana (et. Al.)’s invitation. Instead, I’m locked in my room on a Friday night, desperately trying to finish loads of midterm papers due next week.

I don’t have time for all this drama right now. Stacks of papers rest on top of my study table. The thought of not accomplishing those on time scares the hell out of me. Three years have been enough to get used to the fast- phased life in La Salle. It’s just that sometimes the self- pity bug bites me; especially when I think of missing practically every event in my social calendar.

*deeper sigh*


I badly miss my friends. And those mushy quotes and one- liner clichés they send that used to flood my inbox. Those messages made me smile more often, really. They say exactly what anyone would have to hear to get through another restless day- just like how fortune cookies do.

Pictures of well- known achievers hang all over the walls of the institution I belong in. How can this sight not lead your heart to dream? And, staring at my vague reflection on one frame, I allowed myself, just this once, to take on that journey…

The La Sallian’s latest issue came out with a list of the 20 Most Influential La Sallians. Had they allotted enough space to accommodate one more person, I know the perfect one to fill that spot.


Ms. Marivic Manalo

A professor and a second mother to all- Ms. Manalo is one of those professors tasked to do the grueling job of welcoming freshmen to the ruthless world of Accountancy. Filled with passion and dedication to her chosen career, this motherly professor lectures her students not merely about formulas and accounting concepts that will lead them to a CPA license. She is often armed with inspiring words and uplifting stories she unselfishly shares.


Honestly, I am in no position to claim how much Ms. Manalo has influenced the entire La Sallian community, but she sure left a permanent mark in my life.

Every ounce of passion I have for Accountancy, she planted it in my heart.

She is the living sign God sent to assure me I am on the right path. Every instance she calls me “My Future Lawyer” adds a drop of confidence in my blood stream that urges me to strive even more.

Ms. Manalo is a hard- working professor. But more than that, she is an inspiration; a living proof that any deed, to be fruitful and significant, should spring out of passion and sheer love.

I’m just relieved and very much thankful I reached home still breathing.


I have this guy friend (itago natin siya sa pangalang VLAD) who is notorious for his, let’s say, craziness in driving. And just this morning, I found myself sitting in the passenger seat of his RAV-4, nervously locking my seat belt.


Anyways, these were some parts of our conversation inside the car:


“Pustahan, ilang minutes will it take for us to get there?”- Vlad


(while we were a little behind a bus and a car)
“Liana, kasya ba tayo?” – Vlad
“Whaaattt???” -Liana


“Di ako delikado mag-drive, mabilis lang.
Ganito ‘yung delikado.”- VLAD, sabay swerve ng car at kapit naman ako


“I love Sunday driving”- Vlad ulit, kahit naka- seatbelt, napahawak na ‘ko sa handle.

“Vlad, I don’t even want to think about how you drive when you’re rushing”-Liana

Liana: “Yan pala ‘yung UE” ( while looking at the right side)
Vlad: “Sorry” (after SUDDENLY making a u-turn that almost broke my neck!)



It was one hell of an experience I don’t think I can forget, since I’m used to my dad’s sight-seeing-all-the-time kind of driving. I just wish my friend SAFETY and CONCENTRATION when driving.

And please, please please, this is a serious warning to all elementary and high school students out there, who cross the streets anywhere near La Salle:

Be EXTRA careful when crossing the street if you see a green Rav-4 (esp. when a chinito’s driving it) on the road.



Peace, Vlad.Ü

October 11, 2007- Classes from 4 pm. onwards were suspended and everyone was invited to the much- awaited celebration for wining the UAAP 70th season men’s basketball championship.


A Sea of Green and White
Almost everyone in the campus was wearing either green or white. It almost looked like we were going to Araneta to watch a DLSU-ADMU game. La Salle shirts of all sorts were paraded by students who proudly displayed their school spirit. Animoism shirts, of course, were such a huge part of this season. I’m proud of those young La Sallian entrepreneurs who gambled their money and exerted hard work to produce an entire line of shirts reviving the Animo, not just of the students, but of the alumni, as well.


BRO. ARMIN ROCKS!
He might scold me for saying that. But what could I do? He really did that night!

He gave an emotional speech narrating the gloomy year DLSU had to go through before season 70. He recalled how we returned a trophy voluntarily, how we admitted our faults voluntarily, and how, painfully, we were slapped by a suspension.

He said this year was a vindication and he, formally, awarded us bragging rights exercisable until a day before the next season starts.

So can I say it again? Bro. Armin Rocks!



TY’S THE CHARM
Ty Tang, this year’s King Archer, was awarded the very first Presidential Athlete Leadership Excellence award. It was a surprise Bro. Armin prepared for everyone that night.

Ty received the award teary- eyed.

He deserved it. He stayed in the university for six years (should have been just 5 but we were suspended, right?) and managed to finish 2 degrees in spite of his busy schedule and added loads as an athlete.

He shared how he struggled during his first year. His abilities were often questioned and he was repeatedly compared to the former star Mike Cortez.

He almost quit. Thank God he didn’t.
And he said it was one mistake he was glad he didn’t make.

The whole community would definitely miss him.



THE LOYAL ARCHER
And the hottest of them all is now a champion!

Simon Atkins, who refused to leave his alma mater in spite of the one year suspension, got his first UAAP championship as an archer in his first year.

Definitely, a sweet one!



HE’S THE MAN
When Jvee Casio entered the stage, the rest of the team literally knelt down and bowed their heads. Of course, the audience followed.

Jvee turned really red in embarrassment.

Well, he deserved that kind of respect. He sure made shots when it most mattered.



RICO AND CHOLO’S FAMOUS DANCE MOVES
These two cagers’ videos were already flooding at you tube. And that night’s performance would definitely end up there, too.

This time, however, it wasn’t just the two of them dancing. They were with the entire team and Coach Franz!


THE PUMAREN, WHO MADE IT HAPPEN
He can be mistaken as one of the Archers, I swear!

Well, he kind of claimed that Simon Atkins was his younger brother. Boo hoo. Hehe

Coach Franz gave an inspiring speech for the audience. He asked who we think was his lucky charm. Some shouted Iya (for being the muse), Sharon (the lovely court side reporter) and Dindo (it was a joke, ok?). Then he said it was the entire La Salle community who had driven him to success. Aaawwwww…



THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CAMP
DLSU- manila wasn’t the only school rocking in celebration that night. DLSU Zobel was also havin’ a blast at their own party. Their team was crowned as the Jr Division Champs!

We wanted to be a part of both celebrations. Seemed impossible? Not really!

There was a giant screen set up in our campus and theirs. We had a live telecast going on! That’s hott hott hott!

The players and the emcees of each party were actually conversing. We saw them and they sure saw us, too.

God, there were loads of cute guys at Zobel! Couldn’t wait to see them at Taft next year! Haha


THEY WERE STARS, TOO
What was really touching that night was how the other teams were recognized. The tankers, lady archers, netters, paddlers, etc were all part of the celebration, too. I know how much that night meant to them.

Two- thumbs up for the party’s organizers for not neglecting the other heroes of UAAP.


PICTURES AND AUTOGRAPHS
That night wouldn’t have been complete without souvenir pics and autographs with the players. They were kind enough to accommodate everyone. They smiled and shook hands with the students who were eager to see them.

How rewarding could it be to do something you love and be admired for it.
*sigh*
I’m happy and proud of these guys.


CONGRATS, KISH!
Kish Co might not be one of the high profile players of DLSU but this guy sure got the talent and attitude. He was rebounding like a possessed man during the Finals and he was applauded for his hard work.

When I approached Kish for a picture, he still recognized me and called me classmate. He even felt awkward because he knew me and I was actually asking for his autograph.

Well, you should be comfortable with fame. And by the way, I haven’t thanked you yet for all the home works I copied from yours.

Thanks, dude, for the huge championship and the bits of math tutorials I had from you. Good luck for the next season!


MORE, MORE, MORE
And who said last night was the ultimate party? Well, not necessarily.

There are more aftershock parties at Jaipur (friday) and Embassy (Saturday)!
Just present your DLSU id at the entrance. Both parties are exclusive for the Champs!


See ya!!!!!

I had them all. Life was perfect; except that it was in past tense.

Since I entered College, I basically confined myself to being just a diligent student and a faithful girl friend. I avoided actively participating in organizations and building deeper friendships. I prioritized my studies and spent what's left of my time with him.

Then, I got tired- not of being a student and a girl friend, but of being just a student and just a girl friend.

I felt like I was practically missing alomst everything College had to offer. So before it was too late, I tried engaging in those things I previously avoided.

I hanged out with friends more often; still life was perfect.

I'm currently applying for EIC of the org's publication; still life was perfect.

I opened my eyes and saw all the opportunities laid down before me; life became shaky.

I figured out what i wanted to do and who I wanted to become; my life broke into pieces.

I made loads of promises but the one I never failed to keep was my promise that I would always be honest with him. I tell him what I think and how I feel regardless of hurting him big time.

That was exactly what happened yesterday.

We talked. I cried. And he didn't wipe my tears as they rolled down my cheeks. I din't expect him to, either, even if he does that all the time. That was too much to ask from him.

I broke his heart.

I wasn't screaming at his face. I never did. My voice was so soft, as if I was trying, at the very least, to lessen the impact of the words he was about to hear. I cried before I could even utter a single word.

I said I was letting him go, not because I thought he wanted me to or he did something that pushed me to, but because I wasn't ready for a commitment.

I know what I want, and there are just some things I cannot compromise. The upcoming years, the next major decisions he will make, I want him to just consider what he wants and how he wants it; not how it will fit into our happy ever after.

I want the same for me.

I can give up everything for him, I once said. I still can, in the right time. Right now, I just want to work on those things I will eventually give up for a lifetime with him. What will I leave behind? What will I possibly offer him, if I haven't made anything out of myself?

I have dreams. And it's an obligation to one's self to pursue them.

Commitment- it's such a big word. I don't want to ask and take from him something I cannot give.

"You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once", said Oprah.

I had to give up something. And giving him up doesn't mean he was the least important. I chose to deal with my other priorities now because I want to reserve the other half of my life for him.

My clock alarmed three hours earlier than usual this morning. I had to be in school before 9:00 am to attend the talk I blindly regarded as heaven’s answer to my prayers.

Ley La Salle, an organization mainly composed of Legal Management students, organized a forum and invited the 2003 bar topnotcher to relate his experiences, brag about his achievements and share survival tips to probable law students.

I am a probable law student.

Rather, I am a possible law student.


It’s surprising how a word could make such difference.
I badly need to make up my mind.


I was baby steps- actually and figuratively- away from the venue.

Then, I hesitated.

What in the world was I thinking? Why would I rely my future on that weird looking guy in his lame corporate suit? His tie didn’t even match his orange long sleeves.


I won’t do that again.
I won’t search the answers from someone else, especially when it concerns my happiness and fulfillment.


That guy could have been encouraging and inspirational. He could have been annoying and proud, instead. However he was like, I no longer cared. Listening and learning from someone were a plus, but depending my decision solely on others was the worst crime I could have committed. .

Ley La Salle organized that forum to enlighten students and I’m certain the speaker had the same aim in my mind. I was the one on the wrong foot. I came there with the wrong agenda.

Since this very minute, I won’t ever mull over entering the sacred gates of Law school or not. I won’t waste my time and energy asking myself hypothetical questions and giving answers of the same sort.

This is on the record:

Just yesterday, I hailed Ley La Salle thinking they would give the answer to my most- asked question.

Well, they did, somehow, in a way different from what I expected.


Nevertheless, they did.

If there was one solid advantage DLSU had over UE, it was the team's tested ability to handle pressure and intensity

UE won in all of their games during the eliminations which reserved them a seat in the finals, while DLSU took the long, tiring and painful road to get there.

Five games against our archrival. Those games are as crucial, if not more, as any championship match. The 10,000+ difference in attendance proved that.

UE posted the challenge:

And they will DO IT AGAIN on Sunday.

The other day, I was rushing to Medrano Hall to study. I was aiming to finish 20 sections of my law book but ended up reading just two. The culprits: MY TWO BOY FRIENDS (boy space friends, get it?).

So, we were there. I was sitting across them in a long rectangular table. We were talking about nonsense things. They’re guys, what do you expect? Nah, I’m just kidding.Ü

We were talking about orgs and home works and papers and a few people we love to hate. Then, our conversation shifted to food and basketball and Math. In the middle of all those shallow thoughts and unguarded answers, something popped in my mind: I’ve known these guys for two years now. We’ve talked about almost everything under the sun. But we never, as in never, talked about girls.

Don’t get me wrong here! They’ll kill me if this entry ruins their reputation. They aren’t gay. I’m sure about that. They just seem to have other priorities right now.

One is a consistent Dean’s Lister and the other is a Star Scholar. The former is a future org president and the latter a future multi-billionaire. (he started investing recently).

Future Mr. President is known for his peskiness but he sure knows when to be serious. On the flip side, the future multi-billionaire is famous for being Chris Tiu’s cousin, but he’s definitely a LOT more than that.

Both guys are my friends. And one thing I wish before I graduate from College is to see them happy in a relationship. They are good friends. They can probably make good boyfriends.

DEADLINE: Last day of the second term, SY 2008-2009. (our last term.Ü)