Twenty-effin-six by tomorrow. Where did the time go???
I don’t fear getting old. What I fear is becoming a grumpy old woman.
If you know me, you might say this is far from happening. I have a perpetual
smile plastered on my face making it too easy to crack my mood. But, lately, I
notice that what used to be rare ‘off days’ are becoming more often. I get
bothered by the smallest things. One insignificant detail of my day not going
as planned, that I used to just laugh off, suddenly throws me off the track. On
top of that, I find myself rolling my eyes on teenagers being too loud inside
coffee shops, people who take too much time figuring out their orders when
they’re already first in line, tourists who take way too many pictures of the
same exact spot, and pedestrians who deliberately ignore the pedestrian traffic
light or whatever you may call it (It’s red! Do you want to die!!??)
, to name a
few. Trust me, there’s a longer list of things that annoy me where that came from.
Signs of getting old, I hear people dismiss this kind of disposition.
As if we suddenly earned the right to judge everything since we’re “old”-er. That’s
my fear, actually. That, along the way, I turn into some grumpy old lady-
someone righteous, unkind and, overall, not a very pleasant person to be with.
Granted, with age comes experience and wisdom, but rather than criticizing other
people, I’d prefer I come from a place of love and understanding- always.
I’ve always been a learner, a self-confessed nerd. I make it a point to
consciously absorb something from every experience. But, rather than letting
those takeaways turn into walls that would eventually isolate me, I want to
learn as much so I can also understand and accept as much. That, from knowing,
I get to be kinder, more compassionate, more unassuming, someone who readily
offers the benefit of the doubt. Rather than letting myself turn into the
complete opposite- into a snob.
My prayer is, at 26, may every drop of knowledge and experience this
universe generously grants my cup from here on out contributes to me learning
how to love deeply- nothing more, nothing less than that.
Happy birthday to meeeeeee!!!