Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Undercurrent of Happiness

Based on my time report, I worked 60 hours last week. Based on my conscience and utterly haggard disposition, I probably worked for more than 80, considering Monday was supposedly a holiday. Today is Tuesday, err, Wednesday. Time check: it’s already 1:55am, so yeah, it’s Wednesday.

Needless to say, I’m being stretched beyond comfort. I barely have 4 hours of sleep everyday and I hate that; because less sleep meant less patience and lower tolerance level for me. I am always on the edge, pressured, stressed and there are lesser things I can accomplish compared to my usual rate. As I’ve mentioned, I, again, welcomed the transition from one day to the next wide awake. Although, unlike the past instances, this time I was with the boyfriend, catching the last full show.

He's my daily dose of strength

And just like that- 2 hour movie date, favorite popcorn and quality time with him- I feel like I can work for another 80 hours this week again. :)

Work may suck bigtime, clients may be ultimate bitches and bosses may be, well, bosses. But at the end of every waking day, I can lay my head on my favorite pillow, at 6am, sometimes even 7am, and say I am happy, without having to convince myself. Because before I close my eyes and doze off to dreamland, he is the final thought lingering in my exhausted brain. He warms my heart, fulfills my soul and provides me that undercurrent of happiness no crap in this world can ever counter.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Every girl needs a BACK-UP

There are people you share the same interests with; you call them soulmates.

There are people you confess about everything and anything to; you call them your bestfriends.

And in the exact point where those two kinds of people intersect, you find friends that you unbelievably share almost every bit of pointless pursuits and quirks with, with whom you never filter a tad of information stored in your brain (and here’s the distinction), who will literally hunt the bitches down and skin them alive for you if they have to (the offer extends to ex boyfriends, too); those people you call your back-up.

And these girls are my back-up…

Friday dinners should be a ritual. With all the other girls, of course.

I did not know how much I truly missed them until I got to spend another evening of non-stop chatting with these girls. Conversation topics shift from the most shallow things to the deepest and most grown-up matters. We surely spent almost an entire year of virtual friendship, of catching up through status updates and keeping in touch through random comments, but that night proved how solid our friendship really is.

My Back-up

These girls are the kind of friends who can and will be brutally honest with you when you need them to, who will not think twice about hitting you on the head with bare hands when you are about to make a stupid mistake, who will laugh with you until you cry and cry with you until you can laugh again.

These girls are priceless.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Separation Anxiety

You are taking a much-deserved HK vacation and I’m working on a Sunday, partly to keep my workload manageable, mostly to keep my mind off missing you. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it but I have, with all honesty, been missing you to death. I know, it’s not like we are always together. Work load does not permit that. But there is a major difference between you being a call away and us being an hour and a half plane ride apart. The mere thought makes me agitated.

Last night I remembered that conversation I had with your sister after she broke up with her long-time boyfriend. What she learned, she told me, was that no couple should stay together for mere convenience and familiarity. She advised us to once in a while delve into the foundation of our relationship, dig to the core and always find love at the center. If not, the relationship isn’t worth keeping.

The days we spent apart brought me straight to that: the innermost foundation of our commitment. We’ve been together for more than six years. I am at my most comfortable when I’m with you. You’re my best friend, my lover, my soulmate. You are basically who I need you to be in whatever circumstances. True, we have grown so familiar with each other that I can complete your sentences and you can buy me a perfectly-fitting dress. But when I take a step back and look into my heart of hearts, I know all these things are just by-products of the love we share. I KNOW, with zero doubt. Because there is no place for doubt in the heart of someone who’s found true love. And I am certain I found it with you.

In 2 days, I will be seeing you again. We will probably have a coffee date the soonest possible free evening. You will tell me stories, while we look at random pictures you took with your reliable point-and-shoot camera. I will insist, to the point of nagging, you buy a DSLR camera because your shots are so good and would be so much better with it. But you would not give in, showing how financially mature you’ve been lately. I will laugh at your crazy/funny incidents, like how I made fun of your recent Boracay escapade and how you laughed at my awkward Ilocos moments with my mom. You will enumerate specific HK destinations you would want us to visit together given the chance, like how I swore we will go to Vigan, with its romantic yellow lights and perfect ambiance. Plus, another summer in Camsur, too, this time together, because you love beach sunsets, fine sand and the sound of waves crashing.

We welcomed this year by welcoming new people and new experiences. That’s the fool-proof testament on how much we’ve grown as a couple: by how much we let our world grow. I guess that’s the beauty of an unselfish and liberating love. It never limits us, never isolates us. We grow, we mature, we see the world- with each other or with other people. And at the end of the day, we retreat back to being together, sharing stories, looking at the same direction, feeling like there wasn’t any day spent apart.

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