Monday, April 28, 2008
Why do bestfriends fight over a guy?
After watching One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl, I couldn’t help but ask that question. The Peyton vs. Brooke over Lucas and B vs. S over Nate seem too distant, since I’ve never witnessed such phenomenon in real life, and I also don’t see it happening to me- ever.
I and, my best friend of so many years, Pauline will never get into those I saw this boy first so his mine fights. We treasure each other so much to let a boy get in the way and, seriously, we’ve never caught ourselves checking out the same guy.
Practically, we have different, if not opposite, tastes.
I figured out that the reason behind my inclination over a brainy guy (I’ve already found him) is connected to my plan of becoming a housewife. I mean, I am attracted to someone smart, who has big dreams, because, all my life, I just want to be at the backseat, watch him win over his battles and realize his dreams.
In short, I want a guy who has the spotlight, then comes home to me when the lights are out.
She’s delighted to be in the muscular arms of her guy, while I’m swept away by the wit of my man.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Smallest Fish in the Sea
During the first of the 3-day qualifying exam, I was, up until the last minute, kind of wondering how I even ended up there. I mean, come on, I felt so small inside that room. There were 12 of us and half will be chosen to compete next year. Honestly, I thought Sir Tugas can just pick names out of a fishbowl, as long as he keeps mine out of it. Everyone was just so competitive and so deserving of a slot, except- you guessed it right- me.
I remember a friend asking me if I wanted this. Of course, I do. Not everyone is given the chance to actually get a chance to represent his/ her school in a competition that prestigious. I’m just not sure if I was cut out for it. Before College, it felt like the spotlight just finds its way to me. I don’t even have to exert effort for people to notice what I’m made of. I was just always pushed up to the stage and, fortunately, was able to deliver every time. So this whole ‘qualifying’ thing is new to me. I’m not being cocky here or whatever. I’m just surprised that even if I’m now in a bigger and much challenging field, I manage to show people I’m deserving of a shot. The mere fact I still am enrolled in this program, considering the mortality rate, is already an achievement. Being considered as someone who is among the ‘chosen few’ is extremely gratifying- and unexpected.
Whichever end I find myself in after this, whether I’ll be congratulated or Ill do the congratulating, I know I’ll be in high spirits. Besides, Liana Igna- Most Outstanding Accounting Student sounds weird, after all.
But not that bad, either.
It's Time to Dream, Vlad
I really don’t want to pour words of praise for him in this entry, since I know he drops by this site once in a while. Not that he doesn’t deserve it, I just want him to be the same amazing person without knowing it.
Oh well, frankly, the exact point of this entry is to make him realize how well he is doing now and how well he will do in the future, regardless of what uniform he decides to wear and what office he chooses to be in.
I was blown away that a Vladymir Henry Sy is bothered by questions about the future. He is just equipped with all the right elements to be whoever he wants to be in this planet. I guess no further explanations needed on that one.
For the past years, I’ve been fortunate to know a bunch of amazing people. Vlad is one of them, and he is someone who’s sureshot to succeed. Someday, this guy will make a name for himself. By that time, I just hope he’s wearing a V-neck shirt under his polo. *wink*
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Always and Forever
Unlike Haley’s parents, mine were more practical than romantic. Keng and I were so young when we met; well, at least, too young to get into a serious relationship. But even though my parents were kind of strict, we never thought of disobeying them and hiding from them anything. I remember this one conversation I had with my mom:
Mom: Anak, don’t rush into things. You’ll meet a lot of good guys, especially in College.
Me: (teary-eyed) But I don’t think I’ll ever find someone like him.
Mom: In that case, you both have to keep each other close. But jumping into a relationship won’t do that. You’re both young and you’ll end up hurting each other.
Yeah, I know, that’s one of the many cheesy talks I’ve had with my mom.
If there’s one thing that kept Keng and I together in high school, it was our choice to listen. We were humble enough to admit that at that stage, our parents knew better than us and it would be for our own good to obey them.
Looking back at those days when I can’t even mention his name in front of my dad, it feels weird whenever a family member brings up his name over dinner conversations. My mom usually asks about his grades, my dad about how well he’s treating me and my brother, uh, about his ipod, his cellphone, his laptop and whatever gadget they both have.
I love my family, and I am oh so in love with Keng; they are all part of my future plans.
Friday, April 18, 2008
For the past weeks, I’ve been immersed into all sorts of emotions. Yes, I’m now way above all of them but there’s still this force that’s keeping me from recognizing the experience; thus, stopping me from writing about it.
When people ask me why I write, I often say it’s like placing your experiences into a step higher. It’s one thing to be exposed into reality, recognizing that fact is an entirely different story.
When I put into words the emotions inside me, I face up to the anger, disappointment, happiness, insecurity, love and the rest of those kinds. Nowadays, I find it easier to just let them go. I let them pass wishing they wouldn’t touch me in any way- even though I know that’s not possible.
These days I feel numb, except for that ache in my heart caused by all the questions I left hanging. I guess I’m just not ready to confront whatever it is I’m holding back.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
The Coolest Thing I Ever Did
I have never been the most honest person, so I don’t really have the right to lecture you on this one. But you should know that I am not cut- out for that. There is a certain level I can tolerate, but what you wanted was way below the belt.
Cheating is stealing.
Stealing alone is unacceptable.
Stealing something you can actually afford makes on this small.
I’ve forever been trying not to be judgmental. But because of what you did, I don’t think I can ever look at your face without remembering what you said.
Unfortunately, I can’t seem to wake up.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
The World Doesn't Stand a Chance
I know I can make a difference in this world.
I'm too young not to believe I can.
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