Highway to Happy

That post is the short of the story. Let me tell you the long of it.

Keng and I do not share the same religion. This information comes up quite often now that we’re about to get married. Most seem surprised when they learned of it. A few weren’t really concerned. The most common question we get, of course, is this: Sino’ng magpapaconvert?

Which, I think, is the wrong question.

When we got engaged, one of the most serious, if not THE most serious, discussions we had was about religion. You see, I get that it’s a touchy subject for everyone. You are not supposed to argue about religion even with your friends, and the best way to make sure you don’t is avoid the topic altogether. That wasn’t how it is for Keng and myself. We do talk about it.  But I can’t remember one instance when we argued over it- directly or indirectly. I believe that the secret is simple: I never thought that I was a better person than him because I am Catholic. I never felt like he thought he was better than me because he’s Protestant. So for more than 12 years, we were able to build a relationship around the fact that we both go to church on Sundays. Only not the same church. I always say I’m not bothered that he is from a different religion. What’s important to me is that he believes that there is a God, that he prays, that he strives to live a purposeful life. I believe that with my whole heart. We both believe, too, that one of the major factors why we both maintained strong ties with our respective families is the bond that faith and religion brings. So, at the end of that important talk, we made the decision that we want to share the same religion before getting married.

Going back to the “Sino’ng magpapaconvert?” question, I feel uncomfortable answering it. Of course, it becomes easier when Keng jumps in and answers, “Ako”, but it seems like a question of who won between us. That since Keng would be the one to convert I somehow “won”, or that he loves me more or he agrees that Catholicism is the better religion. But that is nowhere near the essence of this decision. 

Like you, I am tired of people pitting religions against each other. Faith is something very personal. Your religion is a manifestation of that faith. And because we all have our different ways, we can choose what vehicle fits us best. That is religion for me- the vehicle. Faith is the core. This move that we decided on, this doesn’t intend to prove that one religion is better than the other. On the contrary, we showed that we are on the same page. We both understand that what’s important is our faith and that we make nurturing such faith in ourselves and in the family we are about to create a priority. It just so happened that we think we can do that best if we are both Catholics.

On a rainy Saturday morning, in a near-empty church, with both our families present, which is something I greatly appreciate, Keng received his acceptance and confirmation into the Catholic faith. It was a short and solemn occasion. After that, we headed to a nearby restaurant for brunch. No awkwardness or anything. After all, Keng just changed his religion. At the core, Keng and I, his family and mine- we are all the same.