Highway to Happy

I spent the first couple of years in the "real world" treading on a straight path. Determined to never lose focus, I had my eyes fixed on that shiny prize. But a literary genius once wrote, 'The true path is chosen by our ability to love it and not to suffer for it.' And even though I am not sure if my understanding of that precious one-liner is right, it is what lit the fire in my heart that eventually gave me courage to stray.

Today I find myself in a place where my 20-year-old version prayed so hard to never find herself in. I am at a playground: no path, no prize, no fool-proof plan. Everyday, I laugh a little when I look back on days I asked for a clear-cut path and thank the heavens for not answering yes to every prayer. Do not get me wrong. It's not all rainbows and butterflies; it's not all bliss. 

There are still many moments in a day when I second guess myself. There are mornings filled with doubts and worries and a hundred reasons to not even bother lifting a finger and just give up. There are minutes within a seemingly uneventful day when I ask myself the scariest questions in silence. 

There are moments when the amount of courage you have left can only cover the surface. Your hands do not tremble; you can look the person across you straight in the eyes. But your heart remains clouded with fears.

Being 25 gives you sacred moments in the middle of those questions when you are capable of pulling back and finding your center. Being 25 is having a grounded, safe and strong touchstone at which you can anchor your heart when the avalanche of doubts comes without warning. Being 25 is having the maturity and poise to weather the storm because you may have not figured out everything but you have already proven so many times over that 'this too shall pass' is one of the most true things ever written in this world. Being 25 allows you to celebrate the vast, empty field, instead of yearning for a pre-determined path.

I do not usually give so much importance on birthdays because I believe that there are more small, underrated victories in a year worth celebrating than the day you just inevitably turn a year older. But what the heck, it's (almost) my birthday and I'm giddy with excitement for all the things that would unfold, while I work and play and love and dance and worship.

Cheers to the big 2 and 5! :)