Highway to Happy

Dear Fifteen-year-old self,

Hello! This is you in 2012. I know, I know, you’re too busy making paper hearts and daydreaming because right now all you care about is being in love with someone. He means the world to you and you believe, with all of your naive heart, that you are meant to be together. Just to cut to the chase, you WILL stay in love for many, many years. You are right in entrusting your heart to that boy because he turned out to be the man who allowed you to turn into the kind of woman you want to be- into ME.

Now wipe that smirk off your face and give me your full attention!

Being almost 10 years older than you are, I want to tell you a few things that might make it easier for you to get here.

Read. Never stop reading. Life gets busier but every few good minutes you have is enough to fill that space within your ears. You will lose all your Baby Sitters Club copies- the books that made you love reading- and it will be heart-breaking to hear that mom gave them away. But that is when you learn that holding on to the right things usually doesn’t involve things.

Spend as much time as you can with your parents. It may not be the coolest thing to do, but just so you know, your 24-year-old self fights back the tears whenever the thought of “getting married” comes up just because I know how much I will miss our tight-knit family.

Not one girl ever survived highschool without going through the "me against the mean girls" phase. I don't have any advice at hand other than: 'it will pass'. Eventually, they will get bored and move on to the next target. You, on the other hand, will not forget that experience and thank them one day for teaching you early on in life how NOT to care about pleasing everybody.

Continue to love many things. You have a heart big enough for all of it.

Embrace your vulnerability. It may seem like what is causing all the hurt and disappointments at this point in your life, but it is also the very reason why so much joy will soon land in your lap.  You will learn that pain fades, hearts heal, and the joy of living with an unguarded heart is priceless.

Be kind. Being a push-over and being kind are two different things. They may seem identical from the outside, but it is what goes on in the inside that matters.

Love the only body you will ever have. Now, this doesn’t mean be complacent and blindly accept what stares back at you when you look at the mirror. Work on it but never starve it. More importantly, do it for you. Set your own standards and live above it.

Know yourself. It is amazing to be surrounded by family and friends but spend time alone once in a while. Learn from silence. Take pleasure in peace. There will be so many questions and the only proper starting point in solving those mysteries is the spot where you finally figured out who you are.

Good news! You have found a way to be true to your jeans and t-shirt self without having to own just jeans and shirts. At least, I can assure you you have that figured out at 24. As for the other things, I’m sorry to disappoint you. Nothing much has changed. You are still scared out of your wits about things you do not know. And you still care too much. You cry over chic flicks and you get sad for people you barely know.

I tell you, you will see many places. Hard to believe right? What with how strict mom and dad, especially dad, are. But there will be a time when they will let go of you. All those days you’ve been obedient, and all the coming years of still being so, will pay off.  Your parents eventually granted you freedom. You used it to visit places you never thought you’ll set foot on, not because it is too far, but because you never thought there are things you can learn in a town without malls and movie houses. You had the longest laughter in the middle of nowhere, during a blackout, with your most loved travel mates. Plus, you will spend 2 nights in an island even dad was too scared to visit in his youth. See? I didn’t fail you. You may not have cool/rebellious stories in highschool but one day, you’ll jump off a 45-ft. cliff, you knucklehead!

I know how uncertain and scared and doubtful you are right now because that is what you do: you worry. I want to tell you to let it go, to trust and be rest assured everything will turn out fine. I want to tell you, ‘I’ve been there, and I’m here now so I KNOW.’ But that wouldn’t help. You need to go through struggles, and you will. You’ll doubt yourself, hate your body, fail your loved ones- many times over. But that is precisely the Universe’ way of growing you a backbone.

At this point in your life, dad is your hero, mom is your bestfriend and you are very much in love with your soulmate. But you will not find your life’s meaning and purpose from these people. They are your inspiration but you are your own person. You are going to be your own person. It may seem too far-off for you, and it is, but hang in there, young one. You have all the time to figure it out.

Don't look back now.


-You in 2012