Highway to Happy

Rejoice- I don’t think I've ever used this word in a normal conversation. Actually, I think I don't use this word, at all. Well, maybe with the exception of using it to refer to a brand of shampoo, which isn't the same thing as using it for what it truly means.

Until I experienced my very first spiritual encounter with the Lord.

Yeah, yeah, sounds all “holy”. I am not one of those people riding on the Easter wave, trying to sound pure and religious. To be honest, I have never felt more flawed in my life. At the same time, I have never felt more loved and accepted, and, as a result, happier despite obvious imperfections.

I am fresh out of a 4-day silent retreat. I am still in the process of trying to slice this one big piece of juicy lemon so I can squeeze the wedges exhaustively. It doesn’t even end there. I still have to measure how much of the juice I am willing to share. But at this point, I couldn’t forget about the word ‘rejoice’, so I'll share a tiny piece of the retreat from there.

If you look it up in the dictionary, it means to feel joyful or delighted. Very simple and straightforward. But our generation seems to consider this word archaic, too old school to be used. But in my moments of deep prayer, moments when I felt His presence, it was the only word I found fitting to describe the experience.

Four days of complete silence, hours of praying and meditation, precious minutes of individual consultation with very understanding and honest Jesuit brothers- I didn’t like everything I discovered about myself; I don’t agree with some of the messages He sent me. In fact, right now, I still have this small amount of reservation in my heart regarding His will. But this is how I know that it was Him guiding me throughout. Had it only been myself in those prayers, I wouldn’t have realized my deepest fears and flaws. Had I been alone in this journey, I would have knelt down all day and begged for my own selfish will. It is easier to bury inner conflicts and forget about a higher purpose. But He has his ways of sending His message. And He sends it with a lot of love.

I felt Him, and my heart rejoiced in His slightest touch. Nothing can take that away from me.

Happy Easter, everyone! Rejoice in His goodness. :))