Monday, October 11, 2010
A Smile in my Liver
More than a year in a firm that makes me work not only until late at night but until the morning after, I feel jaded. I can torture myself by focusing on that or I can look at things from a different angle. Which is, since weekdays are usually exhausting, I learned to value my free time; I try, with all the multi-tasking/planning skills I got, to maintain balance in my life. Last Saturday was a perfect example.
Family
Despite the previous night’s office overtime, I made it a point to wake up pretty early to join the rest of the fam for breakfast. It was already sort of tradition: the 4 of us having breakfast together on weekends. We catch-up, we rant, we discuss plans. Usually, though, nobody gets to finish talking about anything since another member will eventually butt in upon remembering something. Yes, we’re all chatty and thank God we’re only four in the family. Any addition would result to an eternity of chaos.
That morning, breakfast took almost 2 hours with us leaving the table still undecided where to have a “family lunch” next weekend. We forgot to finish the conversation on. I should probably bring it up during dinner tonight.
Myself
It’s a ritual- I find solitude in the company of a book and Green Tea Frappe. I spend hours and hours just going through the pages. By hours and hours I meant 6 hours straight. Alone. In a corner of a coffee shop. That is happiness for me; my own way of stepping on the brakes to do something because I like it, not because I should.
I haven’t spent this much time to read in one sitting for so long. Starbucks Taft used to be my reading place, but then it turned into my study cave when I was preparing for the board exams. I never had the chance to convert it back. Last Saturday, I think I found the perfect replacement. Starbucks in Greenbelt had the same mix of cozy and semi-quiet thing going on. At least, in the morning until early afternoon. Plus, their couches were perfect. I found my new reading place and enjoyed a dose of Young Adult literature (because I wanted something entertaining and not serious) in one day. I’m a happy girl.
Love & Relationship
After my much needed alone time, boyfriend came for my much, much, much needed quality time with him. I can go on and on with the details- the movie, shopping, dinner, etc. But when I got home, I just had one thought in mind: I missed being with him and running out of things to do just because we had so much time in our hands. I missed that.
It was a perfect day. And it was very fitting that we watched Eat, Pray, Love because I was reminded of how significant it is to maintain balance in my life.
I know it’s not the slightest close to the boldness of actually buying three tickets to the rest of the world, leaving everything behind for a year and plunging into all things unknown and unfamiliar, but that day was my small way of not letting myself be detached and get broken to the extent of having to do all of those to fix myself. I never want to lose my appetite for life, for risks, for discovery and re-discovery, and at the same time, be able to hold on to something that challenges me, humbles me, something that pushes me to the point of almost giving up, but always, always just until ALMOST.
Balance doesn’t mean easy. Balance doesn’t mean quiet. Balance requires effort and passion. If I will just focus on one thing, on one goal, on a fist love, what will I be left with to balance it against? Nothing. And having nothing to juggle with my hands is not the state of being balanced. It’s a state of playing safe.
Family
Despite the previous night’s office overtime, I made it a point to wake up pretty early to join the rest of the fam for breakfast. It was already sort of tradition: the 4 of us having breakfast together on weekends. We catch-up, we rant, we discuss plans. Usually, though, nobody gets to finish talking about anything since another member will eventually butt in upon remembering something. Yes, we’re all chatty and thank God we’re only four in the family. Any addition would result to an eternity of chaos.
That morning, breakfast took almost 2 hours with us leaving the table still undecided where to have a “family lunch” next weekend. We forgot to finish the conversation on. I should probably bring it up during dinner tonight.
Myself
It’s a ritual- I find solitude in the company of a book and Green Tea Frappe. I spend hours and hours just going through the pages. By hours and hours I meant 6 hours straight. Alone. In a corner of a coffee shop. That is happiness for me; my own way of stepping on the brakes to do something because I like it, not because I should.
I haven’t spent this much time to read in one sitting for so long. Starbucks Taft used to be my reading place, but then it turned into my study cave when I was preparing for the board exams. I never had the chance to convert it back. Last Saturday, I think I found the perfect replacement. Starbucks in Greenbelt had the same mix of cozy and semi-quiet thing going on. At least, in the morning until early afternoon. Plus, their couches were perfect. I found my new reading place and enjoyed a dose of Young Adult literature (because I wanted something entertaining and not serious) in one day. I’m a happy girl.
Love & Relationship
After my much needed alone time, boyfriend came for my much, much, much needed quality time with him. I can go on and on with the details- the movie, shopping, dinner, etc. But when I got home, I just had one thought in mind: I missed being with him and running out of things to do just because we had so much time in our hands. I missed that.
It was a perfect day. And it was very fitting that we watched Eat, Pray, Love because I was reminded of how significant it is to maintain balance in my life.
I know it’s not the slightest close to the boldness of actually buying three tickets to the rest of the world, leaving everything behind for a year and plunging into all things unknown and unfamiliar, but that day was my small way of not letting myself be detached and get broken to the extent of having to do all of those to fix myself. I never want to lose my appetite for life, for risks, for discovery and re-discovery, and at the same time, be able to hold on to something that challenges me, humbles me, something that pushes me to the point of almost giving up, but always, always just until ALMOST.
Balance doesn’t mean easy. Balance doesn’t mean quiet. Balance requires effort and passion. If I will just focus on one thing, on one goal, on a fist love, what will I be left with to balance it against? Nothing. And having nothing to juggle with my hands is not the state of being balanced. It’s a state of playing safe.
# posted by Liana : 7:55 PM
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