Highway to Happy

I am probably one of the most average persons you’ll ever meet. I’m the girl who hides behind the biggest smile, who wears vibrant colored clothing for cover ups and whose name you can put under the word happy in the dictionary.

I am probably one of the happiest people alive. Airdrop me wherever in this planet and I’ll likely have enough happiness for sharing. Yes, I’m one of the not so many people who’ll giddily clap their hands even before you get to the end of ‘When you’re happy and you know it clap your hands’.

In a word, I am happy. And it’s brought about by decisions I have made in the past. I can sleep soundly at night knowing that at the core of every choice is what my heart desires, what gives me fulfillment and a deeper sense of joy.

But now I think I kind of miss that shallow, limited, fleeting, even foolish, kind of joy.

I miss feeling young and carefree and invincible. I miss spending an entire day without minding what to do tomorrow or how today affects tomorrow. I miss chasing after joy, even though I know it won’t translate to happiness. Because I guess I have found enough happiness at this point in my life, now I’m just craving for joy.

In the past years, I’m guilty of taking life too seriously, although I must say I wouldn’t have it any other way. But now I’m starting over. I’m back to being the naïve girl who is yet to learn and mature in her new-found field. I am young, carefree and invincible; and in the days to come, I’ll find joy- the shallow, limited, fleeting, foolish kind of joy.