Monday, February 2, 2009

That Freakin' Line

In more than a handful of instances, I’ve met people who find hard letting their guard down. Some have trust issues. Others are just natured- defensive. A few, though, just don’t want to let others in.

Never was I able to understand what could have happened for them to choose not to care. For those people, the problem is they created this invisible, yet uncrossable line that separates them from the rest of the world, and vice-versa. In my case, though, I don’t have the thinnest of that protective line and I always, always cross others’ and inevitably, I end up affected and hurt.

I can’t help but care.. about classmates looking gloomy, friends being unusually quiet, a friend changing so much, another friend feeling incomplete, and another who had just broken up with his girlfriend. It is in my nature to care, to be concerned and to shoulder others’ worries, as if I don’t have enough of my own to deal with. I cry sometimes, out of frustration. A friend once said I should just watch from afar and let others live their lives. Besides, they are old enough and they won’t listen if they don’t want to. I admit he’s right, but that’s just so not me.

Some, or even most, people would continue to be indifferent and distant. I should learn to accept that. It is, as I should have understood long ago, their nature. But it is also my nature to care and to worry about others. I would eventually get hurt, I know. But still.

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