Highway to Happy

(September 1, 2008)

Finals week was over but, unlike to most of my schoolmates, it didn’t signal the end of stressful and occupied days for me. I still have to go on reviewing my fresh copies of Financial Accounting volumes 1, 2 and 3. By the way, I have copies of its 2005 and 2007 editions. But since standards are continuously changing and Conrado Valix seems to have endless ideas for its cover art, he releases new editions yearly.

Weirdly, I actually enjoyed going over the first edition. Financial Accounting was my first taste to the grueling life of the Modular program. Call it beginner’s luck, but I was actually good at it. Modesty aside, my grades were all above 91 for the sub-modules that comprised the subject. That gave me confidence. It was sort of the ratification I needed from heaven to know that I was at the right place.

After a couple of hours and 3 accomplished chapters, I took a break and decided to grant myself one hour to surf the net. I have sets of un- uploaded pictures and unposted blog entries, anyway. So I sat in front of my computer, and just like any other surf time, I first checked my mail.

Click. Type. Type. Click. Click. Click. And then, freeze.

The first mail on my inbox was from Sir Arnel Uy. It wasn’t about thesis; it was about something, for me, is more indispensable than that.

He sent an informal e-mail asking students to make a reply containing the name, ID No., and a yes or no regarding one question.

I received the e-mail four days ago today. But until now, I couldn’t bring myself to make the answer. Of course, the first 2 parts were no- brainers, but the last one. God, that one question.

We were supposed to inform him whether or not we intend to take up law in the future.

The word was “intend”. Meaning, just a plan, an option, and I still couldn’t answer. I knew right there it was because I didn’t take it that way.

After I read the question, I forgot about the reply I was supposed to make; I forgot that it was actually sent to probably a hundred other students and my answer wouldn’t make a difference; I forgot it was just Sir Uy asking. I drifted with the words, mainly because I was caught by something I’ve been trying to avoid. I drifted and I got drowned by the emptiness in my head.

If I would just base my answer on my wants and aspirations, it would be a yes. But since there are other things that are weightier that those, the answer became thorny.

Someday, I would have to make the decision. Whether it would be a yes or a no, what’s important is for me to finally have an answer. Right now, I’m leaning towards the yes part. People say I was born to be a lawyer. They may be right, but 20 years is a long time. I might have used up all the idealism and determination in my veins, and the convictions I was born with might be rotten.

There are a handful of pros and cons in this case. Both the prosecution and the defense stand a chance on winning. But hey, the judge says she isn’t ready. So until that day when she finally gives the verdict, the bloody world of law school would be hanging.

Waiting.

# posted by Liana : 9:58 PM