Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I Saw My Dream Walking
[note: this was written months ago. I’m sane now.; back to my old self]
Statuesque body. Refined movements. Pearl- white skin. Long jet black hair. Thin red lips. Innocent smile. I saw this figure walking towards me. I’ve read hundreds of descriptions of angels and she fits them perfectly. Yes, she is a she. She is my living dream. Or should I say, she is living my dream?
Few years back, my dream of becoming a court side reporter was beyond possibility. But a couple of minutes ago, I was standing a foot away from this girl with whom I share only one thing: that dream. Our heartbreaking difference was, she actually had the time to make it real.
Back then, I kept on telling myself it was impossible; that it was too glamorous for an average girl like me. It killed the frustration for a while but what am I supposed to tell myself now? What excuses am I suppose to make- up just to get through another day seeing other people live their dreams… live my dreams.. They say it hurts when others take your dreams away from you. Yes, it does terribly. But it is a hundred times more painful when you CAN’T give yourself the chance to try; when you CAN’T give yourself what you deserve. I believe that in this life, our regrets are not the wrong things we’ve done but the right things we didn’t do and the opportunities we didn’t take.
Statuesque body. Refined movements. Pearl- white skin. Long jet black hair. Thin red lips. Innocent smile. I saw this figure walking towards me. I’ve read hundreds of descriptions of angels and she fits them perfectly. Yes, she is a she. She is my living dream. Or should I say, she is living my dream?
Few years back, my dream of becoming a court side reporter was beyond possibility. But a couple of minutes ago, I was standing a foot away from this girl with whom I share only one thing: that dream. Our heartbreaking difference was, she actually had the time to make it real.
Back then, I kept on telling myself it was impossible; that it was too glamorous for an average girl like me. It killed the frustration for a while but what am I supposed to tell myself now? What excuses am I suppose to make- up just to get through another day seeing other people live their dreams… live my dreams.. They say it hurts when others take your dreams away from you. Yes, it does terribly. But it is a hundred times more painful when you CAN’T give yourself the chance to try; when you CAN’T give yourself what you deserve. I believe that in this life, our regrets are not the wrong things we’ve done but the right things we didn’t do and the opportunities we didn’t take.
The hardest thing about studying in a university like La Salle is that it slaps the opportunities right into your face every single day and yet, you don’t actually have the time to grab them.
You may ask, am I happy? Yes, I am. But I don’t know if it’s because I’m doing what I want or is it just because I beat the challenge and I’ve never been this challenged all my life. Am I working hard? Yes, even too much, at times. But I don’t know if it’s because I want to get there and become a CPA or I just don’t want to fail. Accountancy is very difficult; unbearable to many. Yes, I am getting by but I don’t want to do something for the rest of my life just because I can live with it. I want to find something I cannot live without, pursue it and be passionate about it all my life. I can’t help but imagine myself on my death bed. Will I be able to smile and say, “Lord, you can take me anytime.” or until the last hours of my life, I’ll be begging God to say that reincarnation is real and I can go back to this earth to live my unfulfilled dreams someday?
I am a then- writer, a then- ball player, a then- debater, a then-dancer, a then- happy- go- lucky person. Is it worth giving up all these to become a CPA? Or should I just pack up and be a then- CPA wanna be?
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# posted by Liana : 10:51 PM
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